Do not tell a hockey player
Last week, some of our glorious came for a drink (I should rather say a beer) in my bar. When they enter the restaurant, my pupils shine, I YAYE the material to write! Like a paparazi words, I tend ear in the hope that these girls hung up their spare me the blank page syndrome. Subtly, I listen to the conversations while passing my rag to wash them before the bar (which is clean of course).
Which brings me to today the worst pickup lines to seduce a hockey player. Because yes, yes, dear ladies, despite what you think, players still have a decisive! I saw the green and not ripe this week to help you avoid repeating the failures of seduction, here are 8 big Fail when cruiser a hockey player:
1-Pretend you do not know is that: Come on, you live in Montreal, where the slogan is: Montreal Hockey city. If you did not recognize, there are at least one of your friends who is who knows ... Hint, if there are 3 girls in line behind you and you have the impression of being in the line-up the Goliath, you're probably in front of you a Canadiens player.
2-List or mention the guy from the team that you know: BIG FAIL! Players do not want a girl where her phone number is displayed in the locker room. Tell that you went to the after party of Price and Gorges gave you tickets last season, is to show t'auto- puckbunny; leave yourself a chance!
3-He said he knows a bad start to the season: you love it that you speak to you telling you that you're the worst hairdresser history, did you missed the haircut of his teammate and you should change jobs? No, well good thing Sami for him! This is probably the only thing he will do his life and nobody wants to be told it is wrong in what he does best!
4-Him pay shooter : That's more for your wallet, because a hockey player in high season, it rarely drink anything other than beer. To not refuse your drink, send her a good Coors Light, guaranteed success.
5-Tell her that you do not like hockey players: Oh yeah? Why you talk to him then? Knowing who he was, you're still went to him ... You do not hate it that much, and he knows it!
6-Appellant by his surname: (Unless it's a Russian and that his name resembles Viatcheslavlodimir and that his surname be Frolov.) Mike Carey and Maxime Non Cammalleri (which you probably would pronounce Camelari anyway), Price and Lapierre.
7-seeming bitch : You went to see him, he knows you're interested, it pointless to play the game the girl away mad. Be nice and smile, you'll see that it pays more.
8-reproach that he had already slept with your boyfriend : Exactly, he slept with your friend and you're still there to make her beautiful eyes, that you should not shy away as this ... Furthermore, I remind you that you speak to a player for the Montreal Canadiens, he probably slept with more than one of your friends.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Where Does Second Herpes Outbreak Occur
I went to a game of the Alouettes with a girlfriend ... Once seated at our places she launches
Me: What do you mean?
Amie: Well the Canadiens and the Alouettes have chosen to sing the same song before the game!
Me: What song?
Amie: Tse song''O''Canadaaaa
Me: um ... The National Anthem?
Friend: YEAH! I think it shows the complicity between the two teams!
Me: ...!!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Deception Expert School
What players will be dressed up this October 31?
It's almost Halloween and Pumpkin said party said costumes! Some suggestions for costumes that I have to offer 13 (Can I be a concept!) NHL players:
Evgeni Malkin: Frankenstein
Whatever ... he will not put up big
Maxim Lapierre: Tarzan
Like him, he picked up his girlfriend in the deep woods
Mike Ribeiro: Prisoner Jailed
in a Texas prison for playing the spoilsport. (Poolers do not worry, it was released)
Sheldon Souray: Schoolgirl
Shunned by the Oilers, he returned to his classes in the school's club team
Henrik Sedin: Pirate
Appointed captain last weekend, he will lead the Canucks boat with the help of Fin whales, the team mascot.
Zedno Chara: Pimp
Exit champagne and whores, sir just signed a contract for 45.5 million
Tomas Kubalik: Wizard
He became known for his hat trick and we wish him not to disappear from the score sheet.
Sidney Crosby: Princess
He still lives his fairytale (and between you and me ... have you seen his beard show?)
Kris Letang: Housekeeper
to Him who washed his dirty linen in public by saying''hair''Canadian journalists
Mike Comrie: Serial Killer
To have attempted to snatch a look at Subban
Martin Brodeur : Phantom
The washers have passed through him like a ghost through walls when he conceded five goals in 20 shots last Saturday in front of the Capitals.
Andrei Kostitsyn: Cheerleader
It might encourage his team top of the bleachers if he does not wake up.
Tomas Plekanec: Cure
are you gonna get to see frencher a girl in a club on St. Laurent? (Note that I could also write Jonas brother or village people)
It's almost Halloween and Pumpkin said party said costumes! Some suggestions for costumes that I have to offer 13 (Can I be a concept!) NHL players:
Evgeni Malkin: Frankenstein
Whatever ... he will not put up big
Maxim Lapierre: Tarzan
Like him, he picked up his girlfriend in the deep woods
Mike Ribeiro: Prisoner Jailed
in a Texas prison for playing the spoilsport. (Poolers do not worry, it was released)
Sheldon Souray: Schoolgirl
Shunned by the Oilers, he returned to his classes in the school's club team
Henrik Sedin: Pirate
Appointed captain last weekend, he will lead the Canucks boat with the help of Fin whales, the team mascot.
Zedno Chara: Pimp
Exit champagne and whores, sir just signed a contract for 45.5 million
Tomas Kubalik: Wizard
He became known for his hat trick and we wish him not to disappear from the score sheet.
Sidney Crosby: Princess
He still lives his fairytale (and between you and me ... have you seen his beard show?)
Kris Letang: Housekeeper
to Him who washed his dirty linen in public by saying''hair''Canadian journalists
Mike Comrie: Serial Killer
To have attempted to snatch a look at Subban
Martin Brodeur : Phantom
The washers have passed through him like a ghost through walls when he conceded five goals in 20 shots last Saturday in front of the Capitals.
Andrei Kostitsyn: Cheerleader
It might encourage his team top of the bleachers if he does not wake up.
Tomas Plekanec: Cure
are you gonna get to see frencher a girl in a club on St. Laurent? (Note that I could also write Jonas brother or village people)
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